Donald Trump Clorox Couplets Poem by Michael Burch

These are Donald Trump poems: couplets, limericks and other short poems about Donald Trump.

Not-So-Heroic Couplets
by Donald Trump
care of Michael R. Burch

To outfox the pox:
kill yourself first, with Clorox!

And since death is the goal,
mainline Lysol!

No vaccine?
Just chug Mr. Clean!

Is a cure out of reach?
Fumigate your lungs, with bleach!

To immunize your thorax,
destroy it with Borax!

To immunize your bride,
drown her in Opti-cide!

To end all future gridlocks,
gargle with Vaprox!

Now, quick, down the Drain-o
with old Insane-o NoBrain-o!



Trump's real goals are obvious
and yet millions of Americans remain oblivious.
—Michael R. Burch



The Ex-Prez Sex
by Michael R. Burch

The prez should be above the law, he sez,
even though he's no longer prez.



Jim Crow Pie
by Michael R. Burch

There onst wus a prez who et crow,
which is sorta like blackbird, yuh know,
but bein' a racist
an' surely the basest,
he basted the beast with white dough!



PAC Man I
by Michael R. Burch

The Donald's uniquely refined,
for, when threatened with being confined,
as the hammer comes down,
his PAC's noses (brown)
emerge, and he's praised, wined and dined.



PAC Man II
by Michael R. Burch

The Donald's unquely refined,
for, although he's been frequently fined,
he will say, 'I don't mind,
because, as you'll find,
I pass all my tabs to the blind! '



Red State Reject
by Michael R. Burch aka 'The Loyal Opposition'

I once was a pessimist
but now I'm more optimistic,
ever since I discovered my fears
were unsupported by any statistic.



The Red State Reaction
by Michael R. Burch aka 'The Loyal Opposition'

Where the hell are they hidin'
Sleepy Joe Biden?

And how the hell can the bleep
Do so much, in his sleep?



These days Trump's fraudian slip is always showing. — Michael R. Burch aka 'the Loyal Opposition'

Trump seems to prefer demon-crazy to democracy.— Michael R. Burch

Under Trump American democracy is going the way of the dodo. — Michael R. Burch

Poets must sometimes re-butt asses like Trump.—Michael R. Burch

tRUMP is the butt of many jokes.—Michael R. Burch

Our awful unlawful 'president'
will soon be a jailhouse resident.
— Michael R. Burch aka 'The Loyal Opposition'

Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick; Donald Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick.—Michael R. Burch

Thanks to politicians like George W. Bush, Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann and Donald Trump, we now have a duh-mock-racy.—Michael R. Burch

Poets must sometimes re-butt asses like Trump.—Michael R. Burch

Predict the future? How, when tomorrow is as uncertain as Trump's next tweet! — Michael R. Burch

Trump says he 'loves' his supporters. How much does he 'love' them? Apparently, to death, since he packs them together like sardines in the middle of a pandemic! —Michael R. Burch aka 'the Loyal Opposition'



Viral Donald (I)
by Michael R. Burch aka 'The Loyal Opposition'

Donald Trump is coronaviral:
his brain's in a downward spiral.
His pale nimbus of hair
proves there's nothing up there
but an empty skull, fluff and denial.



Viral Donald (II)
by Michael R. Burch aka 'The Loyal Opposition'

Why didn't Herr Trump, the POTUS,
protect us from the Coronavirus?
That weird orange corona of hair's an alarm:
Trump is the Virus in Human Form!



White as a Sheet
by Michael R. Burch

Donald Trump had a real Twitter Scare
then rushed off to fret, vent and share:
'How dare Bernie quote
what I just said and wrote?
Like Megyn he's mean, cruel, unfair! '



No Star
by Michael R. Burch aka 'The Loyal Opposition'

Trump, you're no 'star.'
Putin made you an American Czar.
Now, if we continue down this dark path you've chosen,
pretty soon we'll all be wearing lederhosen.



How the Fourth Reich Ramped Up
by Michael R. Burch aka 'The Loyal Opposition'

Trump prepped his pale Deplorables:
'You're such easy marks and scorables!
So now when I bray
click your heels and obey,
and I'll soon promote you to Horribles! '



Our president's sex life—atrocious.
Asian markets are all hocus-pocus.
Politics—a shell game.
My brief moment of fame—
flashed by before Oprah could notice.



Quite Con-trary
by Michael R. Burch aka 'The Loyal Opposition'

Trumpy, Trumpy,
fat, balding and lumpy,
how does your Rose Garden grow?
'With venom and spleen
and everything mean,
and my gasket about to blow! '

Trumpy, Trumpy,
obese and dumpy,
why are your polls so low?
'I claimed I was Cyrus
at war with a virus
but lost every time to the minuscule foe! '



Donald Disgustus
by Michael R. Burch

It'll be a cold day in hell
when I wish The Donald well:
was there ever a bigger liar
than President Pants-on-Fire?



dark matter(s)
by Michael R. Burch

for and after William Blake

the matter is dark, despairful, alarming:
ur Creator is hardly prince charming!

yes, ur 'Great I Am'
created blake's lamb

but He also created the tyger...
and what about trump and rod steiger?

NOTE: Rod Steiger is best known for his portrayals of weirdos, oddballs, mobsters, bandits, serial killers, and fascists like Mussolini and Napoleon.



Donald Double Dactyl
by Michael R. Burch

Higgledy Piggledy
Ronald McDonald
cursed Donald Trump, his
least favorite clown:

'Why should I try to be
funny as Donald? He
gets all the laughs,
claiming upside is down! '



Trump's suffering from shrinkinflation:
His reputation's shot from what he did to his nation.
Now, because it began so wee small,
Today we can't see it at all.
But as with an unflushed commode or
rank sewer, we can spot Trump by his odor.
—Michael R. Burch

Florida will not be woke.
DeSantis made it clear.
The world may well go up in smoke,
but Ron will snore, no fear.
For Florida will not be woke.
Conservatives will snooze
with blinders shutting out all light
and any factual news.
—Michael R. Burch

There once was a senator, Cruz,
whose whole life was one pus-oozing schmooze.
When Trump called his wife ugly,
Cruz brown-nosed him smugly,
then went on a sweet Cancun cruise!
— Michael R. Burch aka 'The Loyal Opposition'

There once was a senator, Cruz,
whose deployment was Castro's bold ruse.
Now the revenge of Fidel
has worked out quite well
as Cruz missiles launch from his caboose.
—Michael R. Burch aka 'The Loyal Opposition'

There was a Canadian, Cruz,
an anchor babe with a bold ruse:
he'd take Texas first
and then do his worst
to infect the whole world with his views.
—Michael R. Burch aka 'The Loyal Opposition'

The LIV is LIVid:
livid with blood,
and full of egos larger
than continents.
—Michael R. Burch

Evil is as evil does.
Evil never needs a cause.
Evil loves amoral 'laws, '
laughs and licks its blood-red claws
while kids are patched together with gauze.
—Michael R. Burch

Fake News, Probably
by Michael R. Burch

The elusive Orange-Tufted Fitz-Gibbon is the rarest of creatures—rarer by far than Sasquatch and the Abominable Snowman (although they are very similar in temperament and destructive capabilities) . While the common gibbon is not all that uncommon, the orange-tufted genus has been found less frequently in the fossil record than hobbits and unicorns. The Fitz-Gibbon sub-genus is all the more remarkable because it apparently believes itself to be human, and royalty, no less! Now there are rumors—admittedly hard to believe—that an Orange-Tufted Fitz-Gibbon resides in the White House and has been spotted playing with the nuclear codes while chattering incessantly about attacking China, Mexico, Iran and North Korea. We find it very hard to credit such reports. Surely American voters would not elect an ape with self-destructive tendencies president!



Less Heroic Couplets: Just Desserts
by Michael R. Burch

'The West Antarctic ice sheet
might not need a huge nudge
to budge.'

And if it does budge,
denialist fudge
may force us to trudge
neck-deep in sludge!

NOTE: The first stanza is a quote by paleoclimatologist Jeremy Shakun in Science magazine.



Poets laud Justice's
high principles.
Trump just gropes
her raw genitals.
—Michael R. Burch



Dark Shroud, Silver Lining
by Michael R. Burch

Trump cares so little for the silly pests
who rise to swarm his rallies that he jests:
'The silver lining of this dark corona
is that I'm not obliged to touch the fauna! '



Zip It
by Michael R. Burch

Trump pulled a cute stunt,
wore his pants back-to-front,
and now he's the butt of bald jokes:
'Is he coming, or going? '
'Eeek! His diaper is showing! '
But it's all much ado, says Snopes.



Mini-Ode to a Quickly Shrinking American Icon
by Michael R. Burch

Rudy, Rudy,
strange and colludy,
how does your pardon grow?
'With demons like hell's
and progress like snails'
and criminals all in a row! '



Christmas is Coming
alternate lyrics by Michael R. Burch

Christmas is coming; Trump's goose is getting plucked.
Please put the Ukraine in his pocketbook.
If you haven't got the Ukraine, some bartered Kurds will do.
But if you're short on blackmail, well, the yoke's on you!

Christmas is coming and Rudy can't make bail.
Please send LARGE donations, or the Cause may fail.
If you haven't got a billion, five hundred mil will do.
But if you're short on cash, the LASH will fall on you!



Mercedes Benz
by Michael R. Burch

I'd like to do a song of great social and political import. It goes like this:

Oh Donnie, won't you lend me your Mercedes Benz?
My friends screw in Porsches, I must make amends!
Like you, I f-cked my partners and now have no friends.
So, Donnie won't you sell me your Mercedes Benz?

Oh Donnie, won't you rent me your sexy import?
You need to pay your lawyers: a tart for a tort!
I'll await her delivery each day until three.
And Donnie, please throw in Ivanka for free!

Oh, Donnie won't you buy me a night on the town?
I'm counting on you, Don, so don't let me down!
Oh, prove you're a playboy and bring them around.
Oh, Donnie won't you buy me a night on the town?

Oh Donnie, won't you lend me your Mercedes Benz?
My friends screw in Porsches, I must make amends!
Like you, I f-cked my partners and now have no friends.
So, Donnie won't you sell me your Mercedes Benz?


Ode to a Pismire
by Michael R. Burch

Drumpf is a sissy:
his hair's in a Fritz.
Drumpf is a missy:
he won't drink Schlitz.
Drumpf's cobra-hissy
though he lives in the Ritz.
Drumpf is so pissy
his diaper's the Shitz.



The Ballade of Large Marge Greene
by Michael R. Burch

Marge
is large
and in charge,
like a barge.

Yes, our Marge
is quite large,
like a hefty surcharge.

Like a sarge,
say LaFarge,
apt to over-enlarge
creating dissent before the final discharge.


Trump Limericks aka Slimericks

The Nazis now think things're grand.
The KKK's hirin' a band.
Putin's computin'
Less Ukrainian shootin'.
They're hootin' 'cause Trump's win is planned.
—Michael R. Burch

Trump comes with a few grotesque catches:
He likes to grope unoffered snatches;
He loves to ICE kids;
His brain's on the skids;
And then there's the coups the fiend hatches.
—Michael R. Burch



Trump's Saddest Tweet to Date
by Michael R. Burch

I've gotten all out of kilter.
My erstwhile yuge tool is a wilter!
I now sleep in bed.
Few hairs on my head.
Inhibitions? I now have no filter!



the best of all possible whirls, for MAGA
by Michael R. Burch

ive made a mistake or two.
okay, maybe quite *more* than a few:
mistakes by the millions,
the billions and zillions,
but remember: ur LORD made u!

where were u when HEE passed out brains?
or did u politely abstain?
u call GAUD "infallible"
when HEE made u so gullible
u cant come inside when Trump reigns.



My Sin-cere Endorsement of a Trump Cultist
by Michael R. Burch

If you choose to be an idiot, who can prevent you?
If you love to do evil, why then, by all means,
go serve the con who sent you!



Bird's Eye View
Michael R. Burch

So many fantasical inventions,
but what are man's intentions?
I don't trust their scooty cars.
And what about their plans for Mars?

Their landfills' high retentions?
The dodos they fail to mention?
I don't trust Trump's "clean coal" cars,
and what the hell are his plans for Mars?



Untitled

Don't disturb him in his inner sanctum
Or he'll have another Trumper Tantrum.
—Michael R. Burch

It turns out the term was prophetic, since 'conservatives' now serve a con. — Michael R. Burch

To live among you — ah! — as among vipers, coldblooded creatures not knowing right from wrong, adoring Trump, hissing and spitting venom.

Trump rhymes with chump
grump
frump
lifelong slump
illogical jump
garbage dump
sewage clump
sump pump
dry hump
cancerous lump
malignant bump
unpleasingly plump
slovenly schlump
yuge enormous diaper-clad rump
and someone we voters are going to thump and whump
—Michael R. Burch



Putin's Lootin's
by Michael R. Burch

They're dropping like flies:
Putin's "allies."

Ah, but who gets their funny
money?

Two birds with one stone:
no dissent, buy a drone.

For tyrants the darkest day's sunny!



Preempted
by Michael R. Burch

Friends, I admit that I'm often tempted
to say what I think about Trump,
but all such thought's been preempted
by the sight of that Yuge Orange Rump!



Mate Check
by Michael R. Burch

*The editorial board of the Washington Post is "very worried that American women don't want to marry Trump supporters."*

Supporting Trump puts a crimp in dating
(not to mention mating) .

So, horny dudes, if you'd like to bed
intelligent gals, and possibly wed,

it's time to jettison that red MAGA cap
and tweet "farewell" to an orange sap.



Squid on the Skids
by Michael R. Burch

Sidney Powell howled in 2020:
"The Kraken will roar through the land of plenty! "

But she recalled the Terror in 2023
with a slippery, slimy, squid-like plea.



The Kraken Cracked
by Michael R. Burch

She's singing like a canary.
Who says krakens are scary?

Squidney said the election was hacked,
but when all her lies were unpacked,
the crackpot kraken cracked.

Now, with a shrill, high-pitched squeal,
The kraken has cut a deal.

Oh, tell it with jubilation:
the kraken is on probation!



Trump's Retribution Resolution
by Michael R. Burch

My New Year's resolution?
I require your money and votes,
for *you* are *my* retribution.

May I offer you dark-skinned scapegoats
and bigger and deeper moats
as part of my sweet resolution?

Please consider a YUGE contribution,
a mountain of lovely C-notes,
for *you* are *my* retribution.

Revenge is our only solution,
since my critics are weasels and stoats.
Come, second my sweet resolution!

The New Year's no time for dilution
of the anger of victimized GOATs,
when *you* are *my* retribution.

Forget the damned Constitution!
To dictators "ideals" are footnotes.
My New Year's resolution?
*You* are *my* retribution.



Two Trump Truisms
by Michael R. Burch
When Trump's the culprit everyone's a "snitch."
It ain't a "witch hunt" when the perp's a witch.



Horrid Porridge
by Michael R. Burch

*My apologies to porridge for this unfortunate association with an unwholesome human being.*

Why is Trump orange,
like porridge
(though not some we're likely to forage) ?
The gods of yore
knew long before
Trump was born, to a life of deplorage,
that his face must conform
to the uniform
he'd wear for his prison decorage!


Dictionary Definition of Trump
by Michael R. Burch

Trump is a chump;
he's the freep of a frump;
he's an orange-skinned Grinch and, much worse, he's a Grump! ;
he's a creep; he's a Sheik (sans harem) ; a skunk! ;
"Kill the veep! " he's a murderous coup d'tot-er in a slump;
"Drain the swamps, then refill them with my crocodilian donors! ";
Trump is a rapist with insufficient boners;
Trump is, as he predicted, a constitutional crisis;
Trump is our non-so-sweet American vanilla ISIS;
Trump is a thief who will bring the world to grief;
Trump is a whiner and our Pleader-in-Chief.



Triple Trump
by Michael R. Burch

No one ever trumped a Trump like Trump.
He turned Mar-a-Lago into a dump
and spewed filth at the stump
like a sump pump
while looking like a moulting Orange Hefalump!
Trump made the Grinch seem like just another Grump
by giving darker Whos a "get lost" lump.
No colored child was spared from his Neanderthalic thump.
Trump gave fascists a fist-bump,
consulted Nazi servers for an info-dump
and invited Russian agents for a late-night hump.
Don the Con con-sidered laws a speed bump,
fired anyone who ever tried to be an ump,
and gave every evil known to man a quantum jump.
You may think he's just plump
and a chump,
with the style of a frump,
the posture of a shlump,
his brain in a slump,
and perhaps too inclined for a porn-star hump,
while being deprived by his parents of a necessary whump...
but when it comes to political asses, Trump is the rump!

#TRUMP #DONTHECON #MRBTRUMP #MRBDONTHECON #MRBPOEMS

Keywords/Tags: Trump, Donald Trump, poems, epigrams, quotes, quotations, Rudy Giuliani, Ted Cruz, Cancun, Christmas, evil, democracy, coup, treason, treasonous, coronavirus, president, poet, poems, poetry, heroic couplets, couplet, humor, humorous, Clorox, Lysol, disinfectants, light verse, parody, satire, America