Drinking Poem by Donna Saphier

I have been in that place
I know how it feels
It's not really fair
The cards that god deals
A bottle of rum nearly every day
It turned my skin from white to grey
I was always sick
I never felt well
On a scruffy settee
Is where I fell
Surrounded by bottle's
And trash everywhere
I just wasn't bothered
I just didn't care
I'd wake up with a man
And not know his name
Or how we got there
And who was to blame
I'd never remember
A thing that I'd done
But the night before
It would have been fun
I would look like a tramp
Then go out on the street
Walk into my sister's
Who'd look down at their feet
I didn't have any friends
I swapped them for drink
My head was messed up
My brain couldn't think
When I had no money
Well that was the worst
It use to feel like
My head's gonna burst
Shaking and aching
Just feeling unwell
I'd run out of jewellery
And things I could sell
No more was I living
Existing more like
Trying to get
My bottle each night
I was slowly dying
But didn't understand
I just wanted to have
A drink in my hand
Once I got my drink
I was as happy as could be
But tomorrow's drink
Would be bothering me
Start all over again
The same old thing
Hoping someone comes
To us drinkers and brings
Cans of lager
Bottles of beer
Then we'd all be drunk
With nothing to fear
I would lay down my head
Wherever I could
On a park bench
Or in a dark wood
I hated myself
I hated me
I'd wake up in hospital
Not cured but free
From this tormented life
I hated so much
I would ring my family
They'd get back in touch
They were willing to give me
Just one more try
If I promised them
That I would stay dry
I would promise and mean
Every word that I've said
They said if I failed
They'd leave me for dead
Yes it happened
I did but fail
Once again I'm off the rails
No-one to turn to
I'm such a sad case
And now I'm too tired
Can't keep up with the race
My liver is damaged
My pancreas too
There's just one thing
I have to do
Stay dry and recover
It will take time
For me to control
This life of mine