Once there was a farmer, poor
With wife, a babe and four children more.
One day the farmer chanced to read
The poem about Whittington's cat and deed.
Exclaimed, he; 'Wifemate,
We must send ‘fore it's too late,
Our children to University school
So they will be nobody's fool.
They can be, by tarnation,
As rich as Dick Whittington.'
Every day from dawn til dark
The farmer and his wife did work
In the fields, fed their pigs, milked their cows,
Collected eggs and did other things that God allows.
And finally came the day
They sent their children to college, far away.
The first born because he witnessed the efforts of
their plan,
Became a world-class, economic-historian.
The second born became a popular economic-theorist
Because he saw how was needed direction with a new
twist.
The third born who'd been responsible for counting the
egg money
Became an econometrician, to teach wealth accumulation
in times of plenty.
The forth born seeing the impact of politics
Became a politico-economist; studying all their shady
tricks..
And the fifth, the younger, because he was the wisest,
Became a freakoconomist.
A horrible accident befell the family homestead,
The mother and father by lightening were both stuck
dead.
The children returned from their comfortable city way
To the family farm much to their grief and dismay.
As is usual they need decide the fate
Of cattle, and the rest of the estate.
When the cat was found to be missing in the morn,
They thought perhaps it had fallen into the cistern.
For sure it would to high heavens smell
If not removed from this under-kitchen-floor, well.
They found a piece of old rope and lowered with a
winch
The first born into the dark, dank, but dry cistern
which
For many years, for the family had been
The sole source of water for cooking and washing.
The first born was soon brought back up to light
But he didn't have the cat, or relieve its plight.
He insisted the cat was there; it was theirs alright.
For he knew what it looked like.
After lunch, the brothers lowered the second born
Into the dark space where the cat was, most forlorn.
The others could hear him bumping about with
exclamations
Cursing madly as he went in all directions.
He didn't find the cat in the cistern,
But nevertheless in turn,
When hauled back to the cistern's top,
Described the cat in detail, non-stop.
The third born, the econometrician,
Was then lowered into the cavern.
He sat quietly in the dark, perhaps from force of
habit,
And after a period of time, exclaimed, 'I have it.'
Quickly, from the cistern, they hoisted the expert
with equations
But he was found to be empty-handed like his other
relations.
'Damn.' he exclaimed in light of day,
'I had it but it got away.'
The right thing to do
Was send the forth born into,
The cistern,
For it was his turn.
When the political economist
Reached the bottom of the pit,
He struck a match and in the dim light saw
No cat. Reasoning's fatal flaw.
His brothers would never believe him
And might accuse him of being dim.
So he called up, 'One of you
Must have injured the cat, too.'
'I'll never be able to bring him up.'
So they hauled the brother to the top.
They would have to send the younger sibling
To effect the rescue of the feline.
The fifth brother, rogue economist that he was,
Imagined he could solve the problem, and find the
cause.
Gathered up all sorts of data, much
Equipment, so forth and such.
The brothers lowered him slowly into the cistern
And when out of sight, a light he did turn on.
Alas, he dropped the flash he had thought to bring,
The light went out; there would be no seeing.
In the dark he called up, 'You are wrong
The cat is here. Hasn't been injured all along.
She's made herself quite a nest
For a litter of kittens and is in no distress.
Another way in and out she has found.
Haul me out of this hole in the ground.'
The five economist were quite pleased,
Boarded up the cistern. Threw away the keys,
Sold the farm; returned to the city,
And retired on their legacy.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem