Emotions Inside Poem by Katie Anon

I so often hate the feelings within
Trapped within their powerful grip
Crippled by emotions that I am helpless over
If I can ignore them then I can continue
But when they overwhelm there is nothing I can do

Loneliness is there whether alone or in a crowd
Isolated within my barren world
Alone because of the way I feel
Often it strikes as when my energy is spent
My own comfort a poor replacement

Sadness is like a constant shadow
Its intensity waxes and wanes
From an ache, to complete agony
Then the overpowering desire is to withdraw
Escape until I can function once more

Anxiety is so often present for me
From fear to dread of what is to come
Will it confirm my deepest fears?
Add evidence that they are in fact true
I am a bad person, worthless to you

Apathy destroys me, my whole being resists
Every movement effort to drag my body along
When eventually I tire, let myself collapse
I feel relief, comfort even, as my eyes close
I am finally free, if only while I doze

I hate these feelings and what they do to me
I hate how people react when I say how I feel
My head can ignore them or brush them aside
This helps me to keep going each day
But it is not what my heart wants to say

My heart is crying out to be held close
To be listened to without opinion or advice
And then to hear I am understood and loved
That even when these feelings they can see
That they still want to be close to me

But I don't believe this is possible anymore
I have not experienced it in my world
People don't really want to hear what I feel
And I haven't got the want to force it to be heard
As a new feeling of surrendering acceptance is stirred