Endlessly Alone (The Process) Poem by Katerina Val

Beats
I cannot pull my mind back together
nor myself
and if I ever saw my heart
it was just for a few moans of an hour
of a time that faded and I devour
what is left

when my soul sighs
when my passion is that high
beating fast
my veins
red cold lines
are beating fast
if my passion is really high
I cannot finally reach the paranoia of my mind

From deep shadows
I rose
I once knew I was going to shut (close) my petals
before I withered
I sensed my fall in the dying(moribund) air
and I was ready
I was finally a fresh entity, a filthy breath ready to start the process
follow the alleviated light with half-closed yet blinded eyes
I knew the light was evil
I still know
I am being burnt in the light

To scorch
means
to be ready to burn
when I lose myself
I know my blood no longer belongs to me
I know my shadows build a truce against me
the thick lines separated from the thin lines
and the black stripes dried on my skin
meet all the white lines that separate me
from what madness seems to be
my dried blood and me
as we try to co-exist in the same entity

but I know
I feel
when my soul sighs
I am ready to give in
and start the process all over
reminisce my broken entity
and separate my existence from my skin