Chunlou Yung

(Brooklyn, NY, USA)

Evening Wish... - Poem by Chunlou Yung

Sleep, sleep, sweet baby, don't you need worries.
It is well with me--I listen to your pledge--
You said you could rest if I would not weep--
For you I wept, for you I stop my griefs...
I still remember how so happy you were
When you came home from work on that birthday eve
And found your favorite long-stemmed red roses
Were paved at your gate and all through the walkway
(The same roses now I plant at your resting place--
Which waver at night in the cold, silvery light).
How quick you, then, yielded to your instant tears--
How quicker can I now just do the likewise.
O, Sweet, while you were with me long before,
Would I have loved you even more and more!


Comments about Evening Wish... by Chunlou Yung

  • (9/28/2008 8:28:00 PM)


    Gramma in the whole is perfect, only 'griefs', you wrote as pl. number, this is not countable , therefore it should be change if you like to keep 's' grief's is acceptable. You wrote this like a sonnet (14 lines) , with some rhymes although no follow the professional types, but I like it well, it's o.k. for our mother tongue language. I, myself do not knowledge quite well about the rhymes because I am not an English speaker, who pronounces incorrect sound on the position of each sentence.You might have learned the sonnets in your school/college, so that you know better than my works. Write more, my friend, you will be successful well. This one also I give you 10. (Report) Reply

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Read poems about / on: baby, sleep, remember, work, happy, red, home, light, night, rose



Poem Submitted: Thursday, January 2, 2003



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