Nata Dee

Rookie (sometime / somewhere)

Faking A Smile So You Can'T See - Poem by Nata Dee

You love me for what's outstide.
Do you even care what's in?
You see me as the little miss popular girl,
who has the most amazing life full of happiness and joy.

But inside
all the pain builds up waiting to explode
I can't tell you or anyone
he'll hurt me, maybe even kill me
and poor little Ben too.

I'm stuck in hell,
and there's no way out.
I don't deserve this,
nobody does.

I try to tell Ben that everything's ok
that he won't hurt him,
like he does to me.
But I know he will hurt him,
he hurts everyone else.

How can my mom,
be so blind.
How does she not see,
the pain her children hide.
It's not just her.

There's never a nith,
that I go to bed with out the fear
of not waking up
that I would take my last breath
in the midst of the night.

There's never a morning,
that I wake up to,
the smell of breakfast
and the sound of laughing and talkin.

Instead I wake up to the sound,
of screaming and glasses breaking.
It's times like these, I wish I were never born,
never existed,
mayby I don't have to.

I leave Ben.
I wish I could take him to school,
I'd know he'd be safe.
Instead I leave him behind,
knowing that he might be hurt when I get back.

I finally get to the place that I call home.
Broken glass everywhere.
Not a sound in the house,
other than the beating of my heart.

I see a spot of blood and then another,
I follow the path down,
what seemed like a never ending hall.
Then I see them.

My mother lying still on the floor,
with apuddle of blood around her.
And my wort nightmare.
Ben lying right by her
with fingerprints around his neck.

My heart drops down to my feet,
the feeling of fear drifts over me.
Where's that cold man, I called Dad?

Lying dead on the fllor,
with a gund in his hand.
He should have taken me,
not them.

I lived through cuts and bruises,
pain and tears,
yelling and screaming.
I dealt with the make up
and that smile I painted on to my face
to hide all the pain.

You said you wanted my life.
And I have one question for you.
Why?


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Poem Submitted: Sunday, April 6, 2008



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