Father Poem by Lisa Marie Brady

all I wanted was your love and devotion
cold as glass.
no sweetness ever passed your lips.
punished...
because of my talents.
you couldn't recognize your own.
I'd dance and I'd dream for you.
hoping for one instance of praise...
or love.
bleeding from the wounds you caused me
i guess I'm not the porcelain doll you needed me to be.
hoping I'd be your salvation..
your creation...
has turned from you.
the one with the jaded past.
reckless and forlorn
always trying to be strong and pretty..
for your appraisal.
watching for the moment you'd sweep me into your arms...
and tell me it was all okay
confessing my dark secrets to you
hoping for some empathy
yelling and screaming is what i got..
because you care.
i am your silly jester.
Father, why do you despise...
your creation?
brought here by love?
or salvation?
am I so truly evil?
that i am always punished for the smallest misgivings.
waiting for the day..
I can be free
for you to love...
and hoping you'll realize that I am no one..
but me.