First Love Will Always Want Poem by achilles amelie magnolia

i want to find obsessive unknowing stranger love
i'm lonely, that's been made so very clear
i used to find it in myself, friendship in a silent isolation
now i have it all, the things i wanted
those things weren't lined up in desperation
but if i could, want i don't have now would be first
i used to want to know my love before hand
but now it looks dull, and time consuming

i want to just know, not them but that it's them
i want to love them, but i want it to end in leaving
i want to hold like a memory, like a movie in my mind
i want so much, i still hope, i don't see it here

to be young, find a stranger, and to fall in love
must i leave my house, i'll go down to the docks till midnight
out till it's illegal, but i want to be with someone
to be completely normal looking, yet with such a deep craving
it's like dying over and over, my heart ripping itself out
the pain killing me slowly, i think i might lose my mind
the cravings found not by want it wants but desperation
the desire shooting me as i look down the barrel
i see it in my mind, i see it as i cry my love away
why can't i live lying forever, i'm fine, i'm fine, i'm fine!
will my life end if this feeling doesn't end
i've always had the fear that this will always end

i'll let my dreams consume me, the poets take me, death kiss me
i'll allow such a scene, a poetic ending to a loveless girl
i'll watch as i die, as i fall down my man made rabbit hole
i'll go until i burn, till my mind plays treason with a gun or pills
i'll let my dreams consume me, the poets take me, death kiss me