For Nancy, When Im Down. I Look For That Door. Poem by Medusa Waves

Standing near the coldness of the door,
In solitude, my bare feet on the cold floor,
I felt the shivering of my body swallow me whole
I knew there was nothing left in me, but a wounded soul
That door signified what laid ahead of me, an entry to a new life
Looking back, I saw nothing but darkness-past pain and strife
My body, ridden of clothes, stood bare in front of the door
My soul twisted my insides, clenched my heart and I felt nothing more
Leaving the past seemed so hard of a task, such comfort and familiarity
It wasn’t all bad; there were good times too…alas a lack of sincerity.
All the happiness I knew, all joy and jolly-disguised the horrid truth.
Vague hints have haunted me, now I realize, all through my innocent youth
It’s too late. I’m torn. Demoralized, I’m bitter. My smile’s a twisted hate.
The door promised me happiness, it promised me love, a life to elate.
Strange...i’ll miss this known sadness I’ve endured in, ill miss my dark hole
Ive created it, knowingly. But I cant stay any longer-its killing my soul
Fleshy body. Fragile bone. Figure dancing, prancing, laughing..such dreams ive had.
To hold another body, since…I don’t recollect. To hold another soul body, it too, sad.
We’d make each other happy. Promises will be made. Mistakes not repeated. Not anymore.
Opening the door, the knob was chilly, it filled my body with electric charge. No more.
Goodbye old friend, goodbye dark hole, goodbye untrue loves, goodbye, goodbye.
A light radiated, so bright I became blind. A fell weakly to my knees, but found I could fly.