Funny Women Poem by Nisha Patel

It always surprises me when I hear that women aren't funny
After all, we know how to bend over backwards every time we are forced to take a joke
Know just how much pink you like to be tickled
Know how to punctuate your heavy breathing with the language of pleasure
Even if it leaves us gagging
Women are so used to saying yes
Of improvising at your demand of keeping the scene going, even if it's all an act
So we keep laughing, keep giving, even when we are sick of staying in character
You see, comedy taught me that a man in makeup is funny,
but a woman is just trying too hard to please you
Have you ever considered that this circus had made it easier for us to look like clowns
Than to be the ones laughing
Our lipstick is our warpaint
And we spend everyday in battle because we have to.
Us funny women,
We are tired of defending ourselves with bruised arms from your slapstick comedy
Tired of using our last breath to inflate your ego
Tired of our insides being made a joke
Our bodies are more than punchlines
Whats too tightly wound is your fist
Our bodies are more than props to be stacked in storage after the show
Our bodies are more than backdrops painted purple for your grand productions
Our screams are more than side effects
We are tired of clumsy stage hands pushing us into place again
I mean you try laughing when your insides have curled upon themselves,
Ashamed of their sick thickness.
How arms to sides
Tears in eyes
Gasping at the joke they try to make
Our bodies
If anything,
I am proud that women can't get over it
That our bodies remember the good parts
So that we can show and tell you later
Because I am sick of holding rage inside my rib cage
To be played black and white like piano keys
Every time that you get bored
I am sick of velvet curtains being mistaken for body bags
To keep us hidden in the wings
Waiting for a chance in the spotlight
I have been on stage my entire life and it's about time I started smiling