Gog & Magog Poem by Michael Pruchnicki

He was a short fellow wearing a straw hat
perched atop a shiny ivory head -

'Look for me among both the quick and dead,
for I am both Melancholy and Mania,
Gog and Magog, Gargantua and the Oracle
of the Holy Bottle. I have lived in India
among people that adore the miracle
manifest in the sun and rain! '

Such blatant hogwash from a midget
does not convince one who has bought
yarns from guys who don't fidget
and scratch their ass as they relate
tales of exotic things among denizens
of realms where a guy meets his fate
in sunshine and in dark without benisons,
or even a by your bloody leave!

So I says my name is Mister Used-to-Was,
a guy who takes no guff from anyone,
such as a midget like you whose yarn
just doesn't wash with a dude like me.
You can go to Hell, and ask old Doc Fell!