Grey Areas Poem by ztp 123

Many years ago someone asked me,

"Why do you always look at life like it's black or white,
When there are infinite shades of grey between the two? "

I avoided that question for so many years,
maybe because it so evidently correlated with one of my greatest fears,

that if I spending way too much time thinking,

one would mange to stay afloat,
while the other always remained sinking.

Either my thoughts or my feelings.

nothing would remain a simple decision anymore,
it would never be as easy as just saying yes or saying no,

I wouldn't be able to differentiate wrong from right,
as clearly as I can,
Like "when the sun's out, it's day,
And when the moon comes out, it's night".

There would always be so many factors
I'd have to take into consideration,
like if their intentions were pure,
or was it just mere manipulation?

How would I be able to know what I deserve,
and what I do not?
They'd be so much emotional baggage left for me to sort.

The whole concept of deep diving into the grays was never that appealing to me,
but recently I've had this extremely overwhelming feeling taking over me.

What if..
I decided to acknowledge that there is sometimes maybe more?
That there is more than what meets the eye,
And what if..
I try to take into account the factors,
like where, when, what and why?

These days when my ship starts to sink,
Into the deep, dark waters of grey,
I can't help but to think,
and also to say,

What if there's space on the lifeboat for them both?
My thoughts and my feelings desperately hold onto each other in hopes of staying afloat.