Grief Talk 1997 Poem by Terry Collett

Nuala lies beside Una
in the small bed
in her bedsit

they had just had sex
and were
lying there smoking

my Ma died
Una says
I got a letter
this morning

o sorry
Nuala says
turning to look at Una
when?

last weekend

couldn't they
have said before this?
Nuala asks

no one talks with me
it was a friend
who wrote to me
and said
Una says

were you close
to your mother?
Nuala asks

no she shut me out
once she found out
I was gay
Una says

how did she died?

cancer like my Da
both heavy smokers
Una says
stubbing out
the cigarette
in the ashtray
by the bed

Nuala takes a quick puff
of her cigarette
and stubs it out
in the same ashtray
leaning across Una

they kiss
then Nuala lies back
beside her again
and hugs her
when's the funeral?

I don't know
can't go anyway
too much trouble
from the others
Una says

that's sad not going
to your ma's funeral

that's how it is
Una says

what was your mother's
last words to you?

go to hell
and she walked out
on me and slammed the door
and I left
Una says

maybe she'd forgiven you
at the end?
Nuala says

no Ma never forgot
nor forgave
she'd not do that

there is silence
birds sing from outside
hum of passing traffic

I'd best go
Brian will be wondering
where I am
Nuala says
she kisses Una's breast
and gets up
and dresses

Una watches
wishes she could stay
and comfort longer

she watches as Nuala
brushes her hair
and stares back at her
in the dressing table mirror
and mouths a kiss
to her lying in bed
and Una keeps it
captured in her hand
and to places it
in her head.