Growing In My Darkness Poem by grace mariner

I try to push it away but it keeps returning to me.
How did you invade my psyche in such a short amount of time?
You return morning after morning,
day after day.
You were larger than life, that is indisputable.
Tall and elegant in movement with awe inspiring swagger.
Fearless...or so I thought.
How does a giant permeate, infiltrate, imbue and occupy such a small thing?
Gone for months now, you still live as real as you ever were inside of me.
Was it that last deeply passionate kiss, pulling my face to yours?
You pulled me so close that I felt as if I may pass through you.
I needed to hold onto something tangible at your touch as I felt I may dissolve into mist if not grounded by the cellular world.
Was it then that you planted your seed that continues to grow stronger each day?
Past loves have come and gone, their flora hangs in dried bunches throughout my memories.
But not with you.
You are watered and nurtured by your caretaker,
my lost heart, my sadness.
It intoxicates and blurs my reality as all good drugs do.
It brings you to me in dreams, both happy and sad,
all passing through to my waking mind.
So real, I can almost feel you slide into my bed, lazily draping your arm around me, cupping my breast, breathing soft and warm against my skin.
You are my dandelion.
A foul weed to some, unable to be uprooted.
But to me, a child's gift, canary yellow, picked and placed on the kitchen windowsill in a mason jar,
or the downy fringe of parachute men waiting to be launched by the soft breath of a child.
I am unable to let you dry and wither like the others.
You are nothing like them.