Guilty Of Taking My Own Name Poem by Andrus Cassian

Time to kill the good boy act and kill the compassion
Time to leave out the niceness cause I have my reasons
Yeah I grew up 5 years here but that doesn't mean I'm loyal
Forget this state, this outcast could care less
Today, I had it all figured out, my plans were worked out
I was going to ask somebody to approach me
and remove all my addictions, hatred, sorrow, crushing vulnerability
but my plans changed because I need all of it just to be me
It gives me the fuel to be different when I feel the same as always
Even though as of late my anger has intensified
Still I take no names, just my own
So if you hold me innocent
Claim me guilty of this week
I've bathed my tongue with so many words unpleasant
because nothing has worked for me
And I could swear on a shining star in the night sky
I could name my only God forsaken reason
why I remain in this stupid isolation state
that drains all my energy
But dispatch me from the list of inhabitants
I don't belong here and I never will
Can somebody provide a ride for me for a ticket to the park
I don't care which one
Just let it have a track
so I can play my own depressing soundtrack
to forget about today and my obvious failures...
Hopefully she'll tag along but as long as she doesn't see thine eyes
for I love her too much for her to see the monster
living inside of me