Oh Nevermind Poem by Andrus Cassian

What have I gotten myself into
What have I done
Why, and why
out of everyone on the planet
why did it have to be...
Please no one spark a conversation with me
I just want to be alone with my empty thoughts
Please no one speak to me
I barricaded myself in my room
my own little fortress of solitude
my bed, my own makeshift throne of thorns
cause this sticking inside my brain
and I can't pull it loose
What happened
I still can't believe it happened
I still can't process what went on
but guilt has poisoned my head
yet I found that liked it
for I enjoyed every moment I spend with her
for I enjoyed every second of looking into her eyes
for she has the type of personality
those beautiful eyes
the perfect round face
the sweetest smile I've ever seen
hair that covers her right eye just perfect
Man, I wish I was back in high school
for it was only then I had a shot
but...
I don't know how she feels
I'm in a panic
She's into someone else
and he's into her
I haven't seen her in months of six
I haven't seen her since I've said farewell to high school
farewell to childhood
and hello I hate you adult life
One night and I come inbetween
what's not my right to wreck
I'm a mess
I mean yes I have feelings for her
I mean no I can't
but man she makes my head so dizzy
and her laugh
oh man intoxicating
but I don't want to be apart of the millions of guys
scrambling for her attention
I'm no one
and I hardly ever cross her mind
but she's been the only thing on my mine
since last night...
I've said before I've never felt a certain way
about certain people
Normally I wouldn't be like this
frantic, impatient, so reclusive
Normally, I could easily fake like my mind's not in water
and my head isn't on fire
while my body isn't failing to connect to gravity
yet...
I'm tempted yet hesitant to speak to her today
for what if it happens again...
I don't know
I'm freaking out on the inside
cause it's not like me
to be this insane about
someone I....
oh nevermind...