Hammer And Tongs 1975 Poem by Terry Collett

Natanya and Jack
were going at it
hammer and tongs.

You sat there
in the armchair
trying to be diplomatic
but failing.

Jack ex cop
old boy now
stared at her:
if you weren't woman
I'd knock you flat
he said.

Ain't scared of you
you old fart
she said
standing over him
in her five foot frame.

You lit up
a cigarette
and said:
we are getting
too fraught
we need to sit
and be silent awhile
and get ourselves
in a meditative mood.

Jack gazed at you:
if you two
want to go
you can
I don't need you.

Right we'll
fucking go then
she said.

No wait
you said
sit down Natanya
have a smoke.

She sat down
and lit up
and stared at you
then Jack.

He sat back down
in his chair.

After a few minutes
he said:
did I ever tell you
about the time
in the Smoke
when I was
on traffic duty
when this woman
comes up to me
and says:
I've done a murder
murdered who?
I said
my old man
she says
so I had to take her
to the cop shop
and got her to repeat it.

What happened to her?
Natanya said
releasing a stream of smoke.

Hanged I expect
poor mare
Jack said.

Natanya looked at you
and said:
I came close
to topping
my old man
until you came along
now he can rot.

You smiled.

She did not.