Have A Toast Poem by Joshua Hillard

I don't know what I can do,
This pain has an unbearable sensation,
It has me drinking every night,
Just to relieve this ghastly temptation,

An action to go away,
To let my life fade within the light,
The agony in my chest,
The affliction of wrong which is right,

No matter how I try,
This callous life gains no positive,
I suffer as a negative,
So why live a problem that's causative?

I'm so traumatized,
To those words people preach nightly,
How can they believe something that is not there,
To grip a faith so tightly?

I mean no disrespect,
But what I once held faded,
Born in the nighties,
Seems as if I became outdated,

I was a train that sat too long,
My wheels began to fill with rust,
When I try to get this locomotive moving,
I can't move as I fill the air with dust,

No metaphor can distinctively describe me,
Nor this malady I endure daily,
So feel when I feel with each word spoken,
Because this moment shows my life fading,

I take this bottle and continue to drink,
It has became my heart's only blood and fuel,
So as I keep going my life gets blurry,
Never did I think life could be so cruel...

...Lets have a toast...