Robert Kirkland Kernighan
He Never Hed Read It Afore - Poem by Robert Kirkland Kernighan
I' ve brot back thet Testment ye lent me :
I never bed read it afore ;
I know 't was a good turn ye meant me,
And now I 'm bankerin fer more.
I 've read it all throo an I 'm posted ;
One part in perticklar suits me
The place wher the Son uv Man roasted
Thet thur thunderin Pharisee !
This airth is as old as Methoosalum,
An still she 's a wantin a nurse ;
This town is es bad es Jeroosalum,
If not jest a little bit worse.
You see I 'm among the beginners,
And these, purty near, air my views :
Ef Jesus kem here he'd find sinners,
An most uv um would n't be Jews.
By Him they 'd not be a gainer
I mean by the temperance dodge
Cuz Christ ain't a total abstainer,
An could n't git into a lodge.
O, how the Sanhedrin would volley
Their charges till Heaven was dim ;
Ef Jesus should ride on a trolley
On the day that 's named after Him !
Las evenin says I to my Missus :
Ef Christ was seen in a car
On Sunday, the Pharisees' hisses
The pillars of Heaven would jar ;
The preachers would nag us an jab us,
An urge us to join in the cry
That Pilate should give us Barrabas
And let the pore Nazarene die.
I like that there book of yours, mister,
Fer sense, it 's on top of the pile
Thanks : I 'll keep it an use it to blister
A hypocrite once in a while.
Saint Paul knew how to bamboozle em :
Ef he to this city should stray
'T would rattle him worse 'n Jerooselum,
An that 's my opinion Good day !
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