Paige Venegas

Help Me - Poem by Paige Venegas

Im the type of girl,
Well I dont know what type of girl I am.
Weither Im with someone or not.
I like to pretend Im being watched.
Watched by someone important.
Weither they will hurt me or not.
I pretend Im the star of the show just when Im alone.
I soon become drastically tired of it.
I get to checking every corner,
Every speck,
Every crack, anything that could be somthing,
Or someone.
I believe something is wrong with me.
The feeling of someone important wacthing me.
Watching the way I listen to music,
The way I paint,
The way I take pictures,
The way I dress,
How I live.
Theyve watched me the whole time.
And when I mess up when Im alone,
I like to pretend as if their camera fell.
Or they looked away for a moment.
The greatest rush, is being watched.
I live off this fantasy,
But when it boils down to some low life truly watching me,
I become frightned and terrified.
I then know they have a way of telling me how they think.
But dreaming this someone or something is watching me,
Its a gut rushing thing.
My heart pounds and pounds.
I think maybe scary movie scences run through my mind,
Maybe Im a pycho.
Or maybe I need help.
I feel as if this,
Being watched,
Will help me in the future.
Be a sucessful human being.
I liked to leave my closet door cracked just enough for someone to look,
And stuffed animals pointed at me.
Just so it helps believe in the end I will be sucessful.
And when I feel insecure or un~pretty.
I turn them around away from me.
I like to keep things people have given me,
Hang them or store them in my room.
So when Im gone, this thing will go through them.
Learn more of me.
I hope to whatever is out there this is just a phase.
But after 7 years, I think I am...
Please someone,
Get me help.
Im scared of what might really be in my closet.
What really is stuffed into animals.
How small cameras can really be inside a shower.

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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Poem Edited: Wednesday, May 23, 2012

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