Hermes Poem by Justin Reamer

I am Hermes,
The messenger of the gods,
And I am Zeus'
Trusted employ.

I have delivered many messages
To many different people
In my lifetime,
From messages like,
'I love you,
Do you want to have
Dinner tonight? '
To messages like
'I have a quest for you,
You must comply immediately, '
To messages like
'Go f@#%^ yourself in the mirror! '

I must admit that
It is fun being the messenger,
For I can do so many things,
And unlike my siblings,
I get to fly around with my
Winged sandals that
I adore so much and
That all the ladies find very stylish,
Especially in this day and age.
I just did not like it when
Zeus (my brother) forced
Me to give Perseus
(One of his children)
My shoes for his quest
To save Andromeda
And to defeat AEtes,
The king who tried
To kill his mother.
I had to go a whole week
Without them,
And I could not do
My lovely stunts,
Which I love to do in the air.
But it works.

But, yes, I have delivered
Messages to many different people,
Including Athena and Artemis,
Poseidon, the oomph in the ocean,
Hades, the King of the Undead,
Hephaestus, my favourite gimpy,
Ares, the raving idiot,
Hera, the b@#%^ of a wife,
Aphrodite, my favourite sister,
Hestia, the quiet one,
Apollo, my favourite brother,
Zeus (as far as return messages) ,
Circe and Calypso,
Demeter, the biggest crybaby I know,
The Muses and the Nymphs,
The Centaurs,
The Satyrs,
Dionysus himself (beware) ,
That narcissistic Narcissus,
That manly Adonis,
That poor man Hyacinth,
Aeolus, the windbag,
That wise fellow Theseus,
That Smart Alec Perseus
(I don't like him) ,
That damned blithering idiot, Hercules,
That smart and wily Odysseus,
That brat named Achilles,
The warrior Menelaus,
The fool Paris,
The poor man Hector,
The jack a@#% Agamemnon,
The poor Europa,
The stupid Cupid,
The bossy jerk Aeneas,
And much, much more.

Well, you better be careful
About me bringing a message to you
Because I am like one of my counterparts,
Loki,
Who likes to play
All kinds of jokes on people,
Which is hilarious.
I must admit
That I am witty,
But I have a message to send,
So I best get back to work,
For I do not want the boss
To get angry with me,
For that would be bad.

Well, have a good day,
And I wish you luck,
And it was nice meeting you!