How Did I Get So Fat? Poem by Aunty Twinkle

I'm looking in the mirror
I can't believe my eyes
Who is this woman staring back
As big as two pork pies!


However did this happen
It seems like yesterday
When I was just a skinny thing
I don't know what to say


Maybe it was childbirth
That made me get this way
Or maybe it was all the food
That I had in a day


The soda and the french fries
The bag of sweets at night
Cherry flavoured ice cream
I ate everything in sight


I really must do something
I'm just a tub of lard
I know it won't be easy
I know it will be hard


I've tried a lot of diets
From Atkins to South Beach
I've read a lot of diet books
But didn't practice what they preach


I really only lasted
A day or two if that
I gave up way too early
That's why I am so fat


But now it is a new day
I'm going to make a start
I'll exercise and eat good food
And be kind to my heart


I'll toss out all the junk food
My fridge will get a clean
Only fresh will be the best
To get my body lean


No more will I be tempted
By doughnuts filled with cream
Or sausages with cheese inside
They'll only be a dream


I'll do a million push ups
A five mile walk will do
I'll get this body moving
To shift a pound or two


But wait, there's someone calling
A familiar voice I hear
My neighbour Mrs Archibald
Is standing at my door


A plate of peanut cookies
Banana muffins too
Chocolate covered caramels
I don't know what to do


I really must resist them
Not one shall pass my lips
Each one a thousand calories
Will end up on my hips


They all look so delicious
As fresh as fresh can be
I really must resist them
Cause one will end up three


My mind is saying turn away
Never to look back
My taste buds are just telling me
Go on - it's just a snack


And like so many days before
When I should stand my ground
I'm reaching for a caramel
And hear a munching sound


I really had the best intent
To melt the pounds away
So all I have to say right now
Is tomorrow's another day! !


Copyright: Jennifer Bates 2012