How Do I Tell Her? Poem by Nahna James

I put on a good front;
Act like everything is okay;
Laugh at jokes, jump & run about all day;
&
Do other ridiculous things, which makes me feel alive;
How can I inform her?

It's actually rather hilarious how I seem like I have a carefree
life;
&
That everything is amazing, but when I go home, it just
makes me feel down;
As I go into hell, I also walk toward my suffering;
How can I inform her?

Suddenly, the entire world appears like a lonely night
without hope;
Then all of a sudden, I feel exhausted, empty, & alone;
Tears gradually streaming down my face;
My throat felt my voice cutting;
Words are unable to fully express how I feel;
It appears as though I am living two distinct lives;
How can I tell her?

A mixture of joy, happiness, & bittersweet feelings;
One in plain view & one inside of me;
I feel like I've been caught, heading straight for the exit-only
cage;
How can I tell her?

If only she could comprehend how I feel;
Perhaps informing her would make me feel better.