'How I Feel To Be Me' Poem by Shawna Pederson

I look out my window with each passing day
Wondering what it is that I've done so wrong
My kids all seem to have forgotten me
I haven't seen them in so very long

I never thought getting older would feel like this
So lonely, so dark, and so cold
The phone doesn't ring, there's no knock on the door
It seems they all have me on 'hold'

Why have all of my kids abandoned me?
Why don't they love me at all?
It seems they are all too busy now
Too busy to make a phone call

I wonder if they ever wonder about me
Do they know that I'm still alive at all?
Or have all of their hearts just drifted away?
As I stand here, feeling so small

I feel so alone...so sad...like there is just nothing left for me
But do they even see?
Do they know that I am drowning in pain...
What is it that they are trying to gain?

So, tonight, a mother cries herself to sleep
It's all she can do is weep
Because the pain is just so deep
For the kids that she didn't get to keep
.
The stains on her pillow will tell you a story
Of a love that was just thrown away
And if you stop by....you will see her...
Looking out her window for you each day

But, soon, the nightfall has come again
And the lonely mother goes off to her bed
And she quietly prays to God
For in life...her soul is dead

She starts to cry once again
Just like the night before
As she carries her heart in her soft hands
Wishing they would come to her door...