I Am Sorry... Poem by VILMA XELIN

I wish I could ask forgiveness
For what I haven't done yet
I don't know how I can do
To solve what I haven't destroy yet
But I know
So deeply inside I know
That all that I can carry to you
Is just more pain and isolation
My heart doesn’t know what love is
My brain doesn't care about feelings
And my body is death on senses
So, what can I do offer to you?
How can I be so clear, so honest?
And still feel your love
Like a horse running faster
Right trough a wall...
I wish I could be so selfish to let you love me
Without care about your feelings
I wish I could use you and threw you
Without feeling bad after all
I wish I had the strong enough to stops you
And avoid you all the pain that it could carry on
But I am so curiously
So hungry
So selfish
So human
I just want to try
I just want to know
I just want to feel
I just want to dream
With the idea that I could love once
But I am death inside
At least if where not offering me a good thing
At least if I could know that you are just like the others
I could let you love me just for play
I could let you come close to me just for try
Without caring about consequences
I am just here waiting
Till the day you could offer that to me
Cause I am so coward to ask it
Cause I am too coward to face you
For all that, and much more
I am so sorry...