I Can'T Let You Die Poem by Broken Shell

I can't let you die.

You weren't perfect. We've all feet made of clay.

Yet, born in your image, the love you birthed me into this world,
I feel, could carry me into the world to come.

(And more perfect than I could have ever asked for.)

I made my share of mistakes. Times I know must have displeased you.

Look back through tears, I see the glow of the memory where you smile, like a golden thread weaving through all the self-less acts of sacrifices you made and love as if I meant something to you.

The way you've been alone even when accompanied by a thousand
well wishers and good intenders, I've seen it and knew.

I know, because I was birthed from you and wear the encoding
of your DNA, carry on your name.

I would fight, daresay even kill to protect you.

Wish I could have been a better son. One you deserved.

You had no father present of your own to look to as an example.

And I, I had the best.

And I still do.

That's why I can't let you die dad.

I know so far only Enoch and Elijah have beaten the odds,
but you've got to pull through so we can all be
'those who are alive and remain.'

Tonight I remember when I couldn't have been more than age 5.

You had bought some boxing gloves small enough to fit my hands
that hadn't seen their first callous.

The damned doctors who keep diagnosing you with damned cancer disease and keep saying you have one year left...

May their tongues cleave to the roofs of their mouths until they
can learn to pronounce a blessing instead!

You have outlived all their false prophecies. One by one their science has failed them and your indomitable spirit still lives to prove it!

The natural is telling me to be logical and try to prepare myself
emotionally and mentally for the inevitable.

But in my spirit, I know and decree there will be something new
because the inevitable is you're going to live as long as I do.

To see your grandkid grown.

To have your spine grow back through the recreative miracles that logic and darkness can never grasp.

I'm not lashing out at the world.

I'm just broken within.

I honestly believe I'd be in hell right now if my father had been
anyone other than you.

Time moved too fast.

So many mistakes.

But I remember your love.

And no matter how normal or natural the course
may suggest, it's different for you now.

I can't let you die.