I Fell Hard But Wrong Poem by Lavigne Kin

I still wish falling in love was a choice.
Because once you fall, there is no getting
back. You're stuck in there, forever. I wish
it was possible to consider the outcome
before falling in love. I wish there were
warnings. I wish there was actually a way
out. I somehow want to erase whatever
happened over the past one year. I want
to go back in time and stop myself from
entering this mess. How lame had I been
then. I always used to think we have a
future. Even after knowing that he had
Her! And more importantly, he loved her.
Love blinded me. I refused to acknowledge
the facts. I thought that I loved him and
that was enough reason for him to leave
everything and come to me.
All this while, I was ignoring the facts. He
had her. And she was here to stay. What
was I in his life? Nothing! If one day I
break all ties with him, he would be least
affected. I didn't matter to him at all, I
never did. Still, I fell for him. Still, I had
hopes. I meant nothing to him and he
meant the world to me. Today, I am much
over him. But I exactly don't know what
getting over someone is. Does it mean
that you stop talking about him? I did that.
Does it mean you think less about him? I
did that. Does it mean that you forget all
that you felt for him and flush him out of
your mind? Sorry, that cannot be done.
What took an year to grow will take a
lifetime to sober. I may have better
people today, I may have a better life with
better plans, but none of them can replace
him. None of them can fill that gap. It is
like something that is bugging me 24*7.
Something in me that says, 'How could you
let go so easily? '
' I want to confess that I love you. I've
been keeping it inside, feeling I could die.
And if you turn away, that's okay; I've got
no fear of losing you. You can't lose what
you never had.'
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It is a sad sight to see people cribbing over
someone who doesn't give a damn.
Someone who doesn't even know what
you feel for him. You know that you've
fallen for the wrong person. You know its
better to step back. But you don't. You
deliberately take yourself into a world of
emotional torture and pain, into a place
that will eat you up from the inside. Once
we get ourselves into this trap, the hope
and guesswork begins. We cling to false
hopes. We think that love is a powerful
force which is strong enough to draw
people towards us, no matter how
impossible it is. It is not so. People change
themselves, they change their way of
living, with a hope that they will be
accepted. They make secret wishes to the
shooting stars and throw coins in the
fountains, but to no avail. You can fall in
love and you can long for that person for
years, only to face disappointment in the
future.
And, the irony begins when people realize
that its time to move on, they look back
and regret. They regret wasting so much of
time over something that never paid off.
Feelings change drastically. Why can't this
happen before the drama begins? When
you know a person is unapproachable or he
already has someone in his life, why let
your feelings grow. As practical and
heartless as it sounds, it does majesty
sense and it does pay off. It saves you
from being vulnerability and depression.
Fall in love, but cautiously. Think once, for
your own good. It may save you from
future regrets and trauma.
' To love is to risk not being loved in
return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to
risk failure, but risk must be taken because
the greatest hazard in life is to risk
nothing.'