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I'M Sick Of It

I'm sick of it
I'm sick of you being sick
I'm sick of the injections
Of the medication
Of the vomit
I'm just sick

Everyone thought
That you were in pain
I know you were
But nobody knew that I
Suffered too
Maybe even more than you

You know?
I'm really mad
Not at you
But I'm just mad
And I don't know why!

I'm tired of all the times
I was left home
Alone
Of making hour long trips to
The hospitals
Every minute was agony
I'm tired of having to walk
On eggshells

I'm sorry
So sorry I didn't understand
How could I?
I'm too young
I still am

I just wish people would try
To hear me out
To hear my side of this
But nobody
Even tried

I hate this
Having to fake it
Wearing this stupid smile
The smile I don't even mean

Eventually I realise you
Weren't really the sick one
It was me
All along

I'm not a victim of physical
Torture
I'm a victim of
Myself

Every tear shed
Every plea made
Every bargain with God
All returned for nothing
All made me
Absolutely nothing

I fell deeper and deeper
Into the hole
Yet instead
Of pulling me out
Everyone turned away
They didn't catch me

Remember when we used to be happy?
When we didn't fight
When everything was alright?
You ask why things are the way
They are
Now

Honestly I don't know
I guess
Somewhere along the road
I took a detour

I'm sick of it
All I did was try to help
But nothing was ever enough
I'm sorry

There's no medication for me
It's terminal
I still sit on that bench
Crying
Inside
But everyone walks by
They stare
And stare
But nobody asks
If I'm okay

You got tired too
And you let go
But I have to
Hold on
No matter how tired I am
Thursday, August 19, 2010
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1/28/2021 6:34:17 AM # 1.0.0.451