Thursday, November 24, 2016
I'm Trying Comments
Rating: ★0.0
To jaded to see I'm trying
Thought I was showing I care
How to prove your the one I'm loving
One wrong move, I'm laid bare
...
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Jaime Garcia
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12/19/2025 10:24:20 AM # 1.0.0
Jaime, welcome to Poem Hunter. This poem appears to be the first that you have posted on this site. Congratulations on a good start. Looking forward to reading many more of your poems in the future! I like this poem a lot, but I think the last line would make more sense if you changed the word 'disparity' to 'despair'. It would also rhyme perfectly with the word 'repair' two lines above.