I Need Your Answer Poem by Belle Violet

I've been up
drinking
coffee,
reflecting on things.
Just
thinking.
There's something that
just doesn't
feel right.
You asked me to come
when we spoke
last weekend,
then, last night,
you seemed so
freaked out by it.
Why did you insist
I should tell you
if I'm coming?
You knew I was.
My gut says that means
there's something
you're hiding.
My heart says
you know this guy.
You know
he's confused,
you know
he's not used to
being confident
in any
relationship.
You know he wanted
at some point
to put his babies
In you.
You know he wanted
at some point
to dance in a tux
and gown with you.
So my heart
and my gut,
are completely
at odds.
I've asked you
so much
if there's somebody else.
And, I have no reason
not to trust
your responses.
But.....
My heart says
you would never
betray me.
That you'd never
string me
along with that cruelty.
My gut reminds me
you hid me from Greg.
You carried on
with a married
woman.
So, I know what
you're capable of,
the question is,
could you be lying
to the girl that you love?
If there is someone else
I have some advice:
she'll never be able
to read
those eyes.
She'll never put up
with your moods
or make food as good,
And she'd never
fight for you
like I would.
She'd never forgive you
for talking behind her back.
And, much as I hate
that you did,
I have.
Nobody else could ever
love you
as well as I do.
The question is,
are you
stringing me along
because
with somebody else,
you don't know yet
where it's going,
and you know I'd always
be waiting for you?
The question is,
are you keeping me
on a back burner
as an
alternative?
My gut says
that makes sense.
It wasn't the dishes.
That's why
it was sudden,
that's why
you don't miss us.
That's why nothing I do
compels you
to fix this.
My heart says
you're just
taking your time,
making up your mind
before, someday,
we walk down
an aisle.
My heart reminds me
I want you
to be ready
because
I don't want you
any other way
than wholehearted
and entirely.
I know you keep up
with your exes.
I know the jokes
your friends
have been making
about you
and Jacob's sister.
My gut says
there's trouble.
My heart says
you'd never.
The question is,
Do you know
your exes didn't work
for a reason?
Do you know Jacob's sister
has and always
will use you?
That if she wanted you,
she'd have said so
years ago?
More advice...
be careful
risking us.
You'll never
be able
to find this kind
of love.
If you've cheated,
tell me.
If you're pursuing
someone else
be honest with me.
If there's someone else?
If you're truly done?
I don't get crazy, baby,
I
get gone.
Maybe that's what you're
the most scared of.
That I'd forever abandon
our love.
You'd feel terrible, but,
I'd feel better
knowing that I wasn't
the girl who ruined this.
And, I'd finally
stop trying
to fix it.
What matters to me
only
is your happiness.
And the reason
I keep asking this
is because
I've tried.
I stopped smoking,
I've tried to talk,
I've wrote you
a thousand words,
And still, you've stood
stone-faced,
watching me cry,
My gut says
It's easier to believe
and it
makes more sense
that you
just lied.
My heart says
it's just me,
and
our mistakes.
Keep writing,
and fighting.
Be a better girl for him,
he'll be
a better guy.
Just keep trying,
give him time.
It's been a month
and you owe me
an honest response.
You owe me the truth,
one way or the other,
is there another girl
on your mind?
Are you wasting my time?
I never expect
you to respond
to my poems.
I've just always
sent them
because you should
know them.
But, today,
I'm making a request;
tell me.
Even if you have to
wimp out in a text,
I deserve an answer,
at least.
Is there someone else?
Should I let go?
Yes or no?
If you don't answer
or call,
I'm assuming
it's yes and
baby, I'm gone.
I have job interviews
in Norfolk
And Wisconsin.
I wanted to tell you in person,
but, you're being a chicken.
I won't wait longer,
It's been a month,
but I'm crazy
about your love.
But I'll move on in a heartbeat
if you're
trying to seal the deal
with someone else.
What's your response?