I Realize... Poem by Deepan S

I realize...
I am tired of wasting my time, again sleepless for not having a reason in life.
Although things are moving this time, At least I am conscious right now.
The moment of truth happens in every second.
Yes I realize it now
There is no stopping until I get it all
The reasons to live are abundant.
But the reason to build it my way is what I had been looking for.
Do not know where this is leading but I do know that this is true to my heart.
Life is not what it looks like
It is but in the moments when my blood boils
Not out of anger but out of the strength I realize I have
Yes it has been a mind game until now…
where I have lost a thousand times.
And I refuse to call them a defeat as I stand on my own this time.
I know the best person I can be, I am not that yet,
I will strive no matter how impossible it might look like
Not until I die but till I be the one that pushes me from my heart.