Kimmy Hesser

Rookie (03/17/88 / Tucson, Arizona)

I Was Always Rotten - Poem by Kimmy Hesser

Is it stretching it

to assume you think of me when you hear this song?

You used to say I needed to de-pathologize.

How do you feel now?



I remember being too close

to the seashells stuck in the pavement.

Someone suggested we buy absinthe

and we pretended like it was a potion

from Harry Potter.


I told my life story to a boy,

a new one.

Funny how small talk always turns into this.

I bet I do it on purpose.



Apparently I have a drinking problem.



I don’t even remember what changed.

You said

we danced

but not together.

You said

it looked like he was trying

to pull my teeth out

with his tongue.

And it made you sad.

And you hit your head.



That’s when I lost you.

Not like last time. Last time you came back.



Last time the boys found you walking around the sand dunes.

Your shirt,

up around your neck.

Only you could play that off like a fashion statement.

They brought you back to the house

and I wouldn’t let them help get you inside.

You were dry heaving between giggles.

I was shaking bread in your face

and the boys were crawling into our bed to “help.”

I wanted a cigarette, but I couldn’t leave you alone with them.



No, I really lost you this time.



Don’t do this.

How does someone as beautiful as you

suddenly look

just like everybody else?

And for the first time

we’re not us anymore.

And you’re screaming.

Oh god, don’t do this



I make you sick.


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Poem Submitted: Thursday, April 3, 2008

Poem Edited: Thursday, April 3, 2008


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