I Would Still Love You Poem by Dakota Shores

I sit in my room which is now apart from yours while still under the same roof.
I sit and listen to the laughter come from your laugh.
That's what I wanted right? Your happiness?
That's what I promised you.
So why. Why does it hurt me to the point of tears?
You don't have to answer that because I know.
The reason I can't sleep, why I cry, and why I simply can't exist is simply because...
I am not the one who is making you smile and laugh.
You didn't choose me and honestly I can't say I blame you.
I hurt you.
I hurt you emotionally in ways I never wanted nor intended.
I pushed you away while trying to make more money because to me, that was what would make you happy.
It's almost funny how wrong I was.
But here's the thing.
I don't understand why you keep me around.
Is it because you know I can't live without you or is it because you know that if you need someone to pick you up when you're down I will be there, no questions asked?
I don't know how long I can sacrifice myself before I'm nothing but a mere shell but for you,
I don't care.
I can't go a day without hearing "i love you" even though I don't believe it most of the time.
I used to.
I used to believe everything you said to me because in my eyes you wouldn't lie to me.
But then he moved in and everything changed.
We no longer sleep together, I barely see you, and worst of all when I told you that him being here hurt me...
you told me "you'll get used to it"
Well it has been almost 2 months and well I still can't sleep at night.
When I do, I wake up feeling worse because you aren't by my side.
Some night I can hear you in the room and you sound like you're having the time of your life...
that hurts a lot by the way.
I understand that I promised you happiness but I never expected that I would be killed in the process.
I never expected to lose the one person in this world who knows EVERYTHING about me.
If I did... I still would've gotten with you.
I still would've proposed.
I still would have gave you all the love I had to give until I couldn't give anymore and then still found a way to keep giving.
After everything, I still love you.
I still want to be by your side and if that means it is as a third party then so fucking be it because if I were to leave I would be... well... I would be nothing