Thursday, January 22, 2009

I Wrote Your Name In The Sand Comments

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Hands wrapped clumsily around youthful waists
Eyes twinkling, lips tremble uncertain
Fingertips twirling sun drenched strands around
Hips are weaving back and then forth again
...
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David Tallman
COMMENTS
Greenwolfe 1962 02 February 2009

There are parts of this I understand clearly. But the images jump from one form to another and break the train of thought. This is unfortunate because the writing was just fine. As was the structure. GW62

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