If The Wind Changes... Poem by Matthew Coombe

You can shuffle around on your knees all you like,
your legs are not going to fall off.
The worse that will happen is that you will wear a whole
in your jeans or your gran’s new carpet.

The wind could blow from all four directions at once.
Your face will always spring back into perfect shape.

Eating carrots will not make a blind bit of difference
to your eyesight.
They will however have you gipping, wretching and
balking your way through the final five minutes of Sunday dinner.

Crusts will not make your hair curl. Throw them to the birds.
Your teeth will fall out in time
but it has nothing to do with kissing girls.
What they should warn you about are cold sores
and the risk of glandular fever. But go for it. It’s worth the risk.

And finally, your parents did not appear on Bullseye
in the early 1980’s. And despite what your dad says,
he does not have a bendy Bully stashed
somewhere at the back of the loft as proof.