I'm Drowning (Eng. Version) Poem by Olesya Ogan

One day I just filled my head with nonsense,
Made up and creepily frightening,
Like a bedtime story for a villain
And now I'm drowning.

I'm drowning in something I used to call the light,
I'm drowning in something that once I loved so deeply,
That it used to pull me out of any trouble.

I'm drowning in the dark,
Although yesterday I was seizing the sun with my hands,
Not noticing that my legs are sticking to the bottom,
Solidified in black colour of the thoughts.
I'm drowning in something I used to call the happiness,
I'm drowning in myself.

And when something really helps to get out of this,
I can't share it with anyone around
Because the part of me has already stopped believing that it would last forever.
I'm starting to think that I'll go to the swamp all over again,
The swamp, that dragged me down.
Where is no spark of life to be seen.
And even if I get out of there,
Where is guarantee, that I'm saved?
After all, I don't share even my own happiness with myself,
I drown it in the abyss of hatred,
Pushing myself into the frames, invisible to others,
Which can't be torn apart only with some willpower.