In The Lifelike Spell Poem by Aadil Hingorjo

I don't know what makes me feel alive
It's your remembrance or having you with me
Or the aching nerves and the injured fingers
Or the stories of each passing day
Or the night's virgin weather
Or the heart of everything that breathes
I don't know what it really is
And how it goes on and on
It's sometimes the calligraphy that catches me
Movement of lips on yours at other times
Or is it your touch that makes me feel alive
I don't know literally
I'm sincerely not into this world sometimes
I'm sorry if it seems strange to you
Or it hurts your sentimental line
Or it sounds odd to your mind
I just uncover before you the blazing inside
If I fake it, my soul will be off
And soul's closure means the closure of nature
And natural winds' stoppage suffocates us all
If it's like the blueness of the Sindh's sea
Or the infinity of her ever-spread Thar
I think of every side
I see the volumes of every sight
Perhaps that's where I'm mis-taken
Perhaps there I'm regarded as the meanest
But you, my beloved, know that I admire sunsets
I'm praiser of the shivering sun
I'm just adored to see passion taking place
I love when sun kisses the mid of the ocean
Where it vanishes down, and how it does all
I don't measure its every move
I just simply feel its embrace in the sea
If it does really make me feel alive?
I don't know as usual
I'm in a transformation
I'm in progress
Skies in me fall apart daily
And dozens of the new ones are born again
Tracing inside the colors of life I live on
Do I live on in truest means?
Scattered on pages, and shattered on sheets
Along with many, I still feel godly
Am I a normal man?
Life smiles at my absurd notions
Emotions sometimes don't knock me down
That doesn't make any sense to me
Is it the half-revealed truth or what?
Each artifical skin scares me
Their lies dump me down
I hate being with them
I can't avoid them
That's the time's terrible test
May be this makes me alive
When I'm drowned in my own pieces
And I'm visible in every piece of mine
Dissolved unexpectedly I do held myself
I'm unknown to me
I haven't yet met the whole me
In my own search, I've disturbed many
I intend not to hurt anyone anymore
Anyone, and then everyone pardon me
Forgive this unset me for every off scene
For I don't hug my all senses at times
But you see this fragmentation frames me out
It's not miraculous; it has worldly vibes
It tracks me down uncompromisingly
It just happens, and happens all the way
Is it that makes me feel all alive?
I don't know what it even captures all along
It just ridicules
It just redresses the bloody borders
And its in itself unordered!
Undeciphered, un-Indusian, I stand
The brutal spell invites anxiousness
In anxious part, I'm more into intoxication
No heartbeat meets my manifesto
Whether I'm alive or mere walking dead
This shudders me to the depth
And I'm convinced at no crossroad
I'm still made wander there
This is what displays my scheme
This is how lifeless burden we all bear
I don't know how it does it all in such a way
But this is the way out that tries us the most!