Intellect Or Celebritiy's Decline Poem by John Dixon

There was a young fellow whose mind
Was exceedingly keen and refined.
He said, 'Since I was small
There's been nothing at all
My intelligence can't get behind.

'The universe gives me no pause
For it's due to a natural cause,
And everything known
Comes about on its own
By conforming to physical laws.

'The world, though you search to infinity,
Has no visible sign of divinity.
It's much like a pond
Which has nothing beyond
To disturb my profound equanimity.

'I shall wield my disbelief like a rod,
For I find it remarkably odd
How these loonies play games
With impossible names
Like Jehovah and Brahman and God.

'Since my secular hype's such a killer,
By making it louder and shriller,
I'll work up the welly
To get on the telly
With Dawkins and Jonathan Miller.'

His career brought him riches and fame
And extravagant learned acclaim
Till his fiftieth year,
When a voice in his ear
Made the following scandalous claim:

'While your fight with religionist guff
Is remarkably dogged and tough,
The critique that you're prone
To apply to your own
Isn't nearly exacting enough.'

The celebrity, rigid with shock,
Said, 'I'm not the one in the dock.
It's hard not to think
That you've been at the drink
If it's sceptics you're trying to knock.'

Said the other, 'Your high education
Conceals a profound aberration.
You discovered the chink
When you used the word 'think'
To enlighten this good conversation.

For the shape of your world is defined
By forces both random and blind.
So how is it you
Can think anything true
If unreason's informing your mind?

If natural forces should tender,
Some thought for your mental agenda,
It must go down the loo
With the rest of the poo
That your bodily functions engender.'

The author of this disquisition
Disappeared in a cloud of cognition
Where he died of neglect
And a want of respect
Motivated by public suspicion.

Said the superstar, 'Theories linking
My mind to the cosmos are sinking.
For if I explain
What occurs in my brain,
It will have to be done without thinking.

'The world as a self-induced whole
Is a notion that's been on a roll.
And I'm shattered to find
That including the mind
Is an unrealisable goal.'

He abandoned his circle of winners
And consorted with drunkards and sinners.
Till, in final decline
And excesses of wine,
He read poems to writers'-club dinners.