I'm a little bit tipsy but I'm alright. Feeling unnoticed, unwelcome and uninvited. I pretended to be one of the crowd. I laughed.I smiled.I talked, I'm not sure if they were listening, I assumed they were. I managed to fake a smile when he talked about her. I drunk every turn, even if it's not mine. I wanna get drunk to make me feel numb. i wanted to get dizzy so that I could not hear them properly. I couldn't open my eyes properly, I'm about to pass-out but I don't want to. I pretended I'm enjoying the conversation. I pretended I'm fine, that I will not spoil the night. I'm about to throw-up, it's coming, I was holding it in. I wanted to let him know that I'm good at this. I wanted to let him see that I am strong. At last, I was able to hold it and forgot about it.
I pretended we're okay... that we're actually friends now. I assumed it was fine with me around in the room, IN his room.I pretended we're COOL. I pretended I'm not jealouse. I pretended that it was okay. What i have seen was no malice at all. That it was nothing between him and her.I drunk one shot after the other, but i still feel the pain. I still feel the urge of going out and scream my mind out or perhaps go home. A long sound-sleep might take this evil mind at ease. However, I'm seizing that opportunity to stay the whole night in his room. I looked forward on feeling how it feels to see the morning light with his presence around.
Funny though, I didn't notice it. I'm sober. I got headache and so much heartache.I thought that getting hangover, that's when your head aches more than your heart.Well, that's not true to me..I'm just too sensitive on all things. I'm just like that. Feeling rejected....snobbed...and taken for granted!