Jade Cabbage Of Wealth Poem by Sebastian Seal

I have a Jade Cabbage of Wealth,
I wear it around my neck.
It makes me of excellent health,
And not a nervous wreck.

The cabbage is a symbol of wealth,
And jade is a stone of emperors,
I obtained it with cunning stealth,
in my occupation as adventurer.

It once belonged to Emperor Qin,
I found it while visiting his tomb,
You're not supposed to go in,
So I swam down an unguarded flume.

The room was full of shiny water,
I'd never seen anything like it before.
I drank a litre and a quarter,
And felt a strange affinity for the floor.

I was somehow as heavy as a cachalot,
I moved rather sluggishly,
And like a slug to the vegetable plot,
I happened upon a cabbage of luxury.

There in a cabinet on display,
Was a jade cabbage resplendent,
It was clear that it didn't want to stay,
So I tied it to my collar as a pendent.

Now I wear my cabbage proudly,
The jade brings me luck and diverts flack,
Though I don't advertise it loudly,
In case Mr Qin wants it back.