Just To Be Here Poem by C.R. Ebowski

People say to me that this is just a phase
Not to worry, I will make it through
Smiling they walk away thinking all is ok
In my mind, I pray that this is will pass

Time will heal all wounds

Years pass like a rough roller coaster
Throwing me side to side against the rails
And I desperately hang on afraid of letting go
Before I know it, I am back at the beginning

This is the beginning of the end

Reflections of the past stalk my existence
Constantly reminding me of my missteps
I was led to believe that all would be made right
If I had only had the faith to trust in you

Without trust there is nothing

I have had many chances to make things right
But passed them up for one more swig of that bottle
Living in a world of self loathing and destruction
Frantically trying to climb out of the grave I dug for myself

Alcohol is the destruction of me

Awake for too many hours my mind is racing
Desperately looking for a way to get passed this
M mind can logic the pain and knows the resolution
But my heart just won’t let go of the pain

Living is the ultimate hell