Kaddish For A Living Man Poem by guillermo veloso

I said a Kaddish for a living man
My brother
Placing patina-stained coins on your eyes
I sent you on your final way, then
Surrendering possession of your pain
I mouthed the words to bid you farewell
Thoughts as old faded Kodak paper
Making sense of the sentimental flotsam
Grasping for what was never yours to begin with
Losing the fact that the you you ran from
Is the you that was always waiting,
Like star crossed Penelope for
Your Ulysses pipe dreams
Discarded like gum wrappers in a subway station
But Penelope will not remember
The child that left those many years ago
Her suitors on street corners and dark bars
Crowding her very breath
All claiming her for their own as
She stares past the neon bars into
The dark night
A profane mist shrouds the street lights
But it's just a ghost that you used to know
Set free so long ago
A child in the mirror that dreamed of distant
Shores and adventure
It's just a mask that u once wore
Before the scars were laid
Before the cracks in your heart formed
Before your darker clouds became part of the tapestry
And now, all woven and washed,
Is this your wardrobe?
Is this all
Is this the you you became
Is the reflection you see all there is,
Content as a moored boat at low tide?
But look, there is another sea
There are other tides tugging at your keel
Full moon, now a timeless mother
Bares her breast for the currents to feed
No time then, for
Fear
Anger
Pain
Despair
The sails are set
The trades beckon
Life has yet to
Set sail
I prefer to keep this Kaddish in my
Pocket, warm and safe for the right time
Just not today
Okay?