Kipper Poem by Sebastian Seal

I've got a favourite kipper,
I've had it for many years.
My owner says it smells like brie,
I'm afraid I have to agree.

I have to admit that my kipper,
Is not as fresh as it once was.
It's turning green around the gills,
and its fur is giving it frills.

Each day I have it for lunch,
It's my favourite snack.
It'll probably last forever,
Now it's as tough as leather.

I fetch it from the freezer,
Five minutes in the microwave,
I give it a lick, it tastes very nice,
And then put it back on ice.

It's been reheated five hundred times,
Some might say it's lethal.
But my opinion is not so hasty,
I find it very tasty.

My owner thinks it unhealthy,
He says it's a biological hazard.
He said that it should be cremated,
It heard him say that and retaliated.

My kipper seemed to growl,
It leapt about and snarled.
Or maybe it was the furry stuff,
the greeny slimy hairy fluff.

It's safely hibernating now,
In the cold of deep freeze.
My owner recommends leaving it there,
Much the worse for wear.