Kookaburra 2 Poem by Patrick Dennis

Dear old chap, may I ask
why on your face you wear that mask;
and clothing designed with no colours in mind
except those that tend
to hide you and blend
with the pale bark of the trees
and the dull buzzing of bees
when your grandeur and fame
know nothing of shame?

The dingo to lair
will quickly repair,
the creatures of night
so greatly take fright,
and some birds I am told
are not nearly as bold
as you who abide
where there's nothing to hide.
So why promenade
in that silly facade?

Side on, it is true -
how noble of you!
your aspect is wed
to a statesmanlike head
and a beakish cigar
so truly bizarre.
But front on in a book
how funny you look!
Why is it so
O kinfolk of crow.
And permit me to mention
your hair needs attention.
a slickback is great
on a dignified pate,
but you must keep it down
or you look like a clown.
So, may I suggest? -
I think its the best -
that you make a new start
by using a part
and combing your hair
with a little more flair.
This advice I give free
for its quite clear, you should see,
you're better by far
than that foolish galah,
and cosmetic attention
is accepted convention
and one of the rigours
for all public figures.

Well now, could you bear
as you meditate there
in tranquility and bliss
to answer me this:
Do you belong to the race -
oh, pardon my face,
I promise you I'll
cover my smile -
but the race of the bird -
oh, this is really absurd
and the thing is quite murky -
but you and the turkey -
are you two of a kind
in feather and mind?

For my answer I wait,
and I wait, and I wait.
Not a word
from that bird.
Have my questions sunk in?
Have I committed a sin?
Have I been quite rude
on that bird to intrude
with my questions of him
cooked up on a whim?

Then in tones rudely raucous
from his brothers in caucus
there's laughter and scorn
as though as to warn
that in all the world round
no creature of found
so queer to the eye,
so absurd by and by
so comical and strange
to give humour full range
as-
now please don't make a fuss
but our beaky friends have just averred
the only creature that's absurd
is -
hey, look, I have the final word.
Ah -
well I thought I did
but my jolly rhyme has gone and hid.