Leaving For Tiglan (1986) Poem by RIC BASTASA

It took him quite a time to come back
He missed the lull of the loafing swing tied to an old avocado tree
At first he remembered, he thought, it was everything that he really cared for
The lull, the breeze, the loafing
The blood red hibiscus and the pervading scent of the ilang-ilang
The silence of an isolated and abandoned hut in an ancestral farm
The hidden creek where the mudfish keeps its silent swim
The lonely walks towards the sea just to take a look at the sunset
And back again to the faraway hill just to see how it looks down there on the plains
Up here one can see the sea, the village, the group of trees, the winding road and the trails,
Everything in view
In full array
Of propriety


And I shall have my place here
Only me
Nothing really of much significance
A man sitting
Then standing
Moving from time to time
Sometimes not really knowing why
Why movements have to be made
And then I stand still
Hearing only my breath and the beating of my heart
The silence was so encompassing


Covering the whole view that I see


Completing the whole of this vastness


I have to leave tomorrow


But I have not told her


The lull is over


The house has been cleaned and every trace of filth has been hidden


Every litter burned


The ashes buried


And everyone thought that everything had been


Propriety

No one shall ever know


That the night before


The house was all crowded, dirty, and foul


The dwellers could not sleep


The quarrels so loud, scandal-filled, so blurred with inhumanities


Tonight the silence shall be marked
I could hear the breath I make and the clicking of time ticking penetrates the wall
Everything shall be in order and well –taken
Everything so proper like the view on top of the hill
I leave with all the goodness in my heart and the goodness that I have felt from everyone
I shall be heeding for Tiglan
With all the goodness that is over
I leave my longings to you
And I know I shall no more remember