lou parks

Rookie - 123 Points (02/27/97 / rocky mountain house)

Lesson Learned 2 - Poem by lou parks

I woke from my deep sleep
I sit up and look around
my friends sleepng around me
They seem so peacefull, if only they knew the truth

I stand yp and go to the washroom.
i take off the bandage
The cuts look.... Ugly
swollen and puffy
Ozing puse
i search for sav for teh cuts
i find some and apply it and wrap them again.

When i come out my friends are awake.
moving around, making breakfast, making plans.
Two come up to me and tell me that there leaving someone with me
so to make sure i don't cut myself again
i don't complain, i agree.
i don't want to go back to the black hole

I walk around and find a quite corner
I write of in my diary, my guard sits besides me
After five mintes, I have a panic attack
I shake and shake, cry and cry
My fried comforts me. tells me its going to be ok.
After a few minutes it goes away
It left me sad and scared sh*tless

My guard tells me hes got to go
I watch him leave, then i move to a room
i find a bed, I sit on it then go into a fatel position
My second guard finds me, he sits besides me and tell me soothing things

I sit up too fast and got dizzy
I had to lay down again
when i came back up, I was find
My guard ask to see how my ars were
I didnt speak, I showed him
He gentle touch my arms
Say we should clean them, i nod
We go do that, then he had to change

I find a cold peice of floor to lay on, i go to sleep
I slept for hours on end, when i woke up
My third guard is here, i look at her watch
its 3: 15 pm, i get up and go searching
Talks about random happy things
I find something and nibble at it
Slight smileing at some things, but this frown is perment

I wanted to commet on something but afraid my voice would betray me
I knew my voice would do it
So i stayed quite
She tells me were going to an emotional saying
At 4: 15 i look at the clock 3: 40 pm
so i have 35 minutes to get in nice clothes
15 years and no dress but now i will wear this
Once i come out of the bathroom
She tells me i look stunning, I smile for a first time in a long time

We go to teh emtional saying
Everyone looks up and smiles
Eveyone is stunned to see me in a black dress
my sister yells 'yeah! ! '
Everyone points to the middle for me to sit
one by one everyone tells me how they feel
m overwelmed by this, I finally break
Telling them im truely sorry
They tell me they forgave but i come to them about anything
I promised
They split but a new guard with me

Everyone is off to bed but its only 6: 30
I find a T.V and watchi it, By 9: 30 I fell alseep along with my guard
Today was different.
Lesson learned.

Poet's Notes about The Poem

I know that my friends will always stay with me no matter how stress full i can be. They try to make me learn my lesson. and i sometimes do but not all the time.

this is the second poem and final poem of 'lessons learnd.' there is only two.

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, January 15, 2013

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