Letter From A 23 Year Prison Poem by Joi Miner

On discussing mothers
The nurse replied she wished she were half the mother her mother had been.
Her words became Velcro
Attaching to my damage.
What was her mother that had left her envious remorseful even at forty
Something
Some super-human
Awesomely kind
Well tempered
Mentally balanced
Sheltered but not too sheltered
June Cleaver
Cooking cleaning scripture obeying goddess
Garland and all
Making her recant teenage rants
Youthful exclamations of hatred
Rebellious acts of the sexual kind.
Did she wish she’d been
A virgin on her wedding night
Bore children without breaking a sweat
To make her mother proud?
I want to feel this way about you.
It’s not natural
For a daughter to despise
The woman who
Once bore the womb that gave her life.
I wish that I could create a machine that would take me back through you.
So I could know you
I mean really know you
Not just
Your version
Truth.
I wonder
What your demons are
That painted me
Pale-skinned
Donning pugilism
For sake of sanity
Digging my brain out
Through my ears
With a rusty spoon
To make room for your understanding.
I want to love you
Wrap us up
Just us up
Like a unity carving
And begin healing
Together
Mother and daughter
Amen.