Letting Go... Poem by fara mohammed

If i could tell you how I feel,
I don't think I would.
It's easier to suffer in silence,
Bear this torment and misery within.
I once loved with all my heart,
Woke up each day with a smile,
I still do, but of a different kind,
One that says look beyond, see my dark
Pull me out, help me survive,
Hear my silent pleas and cries,
Go beyond my exterior, but not too far,
Dont get dragged into this black hole,
A black hole where my heart once stood.
I didnt mind us ending,
But friendship breaking and all those words
Has filled me with this indescribably treacherous venom
Replacing all the love I ever had.
A sickening feeling you say,
Stressing u out.
I was only your Lab Rat,
Nothing more.
U changed me and i hate u for it.
Who I am now?
I cannot tell.
U said I was beautiful,
U said u loved me once,
u said 4ever in your arms.
u said i knew u,
then turn around say i never did,
can't beleive i fell for your lies.
burning with emotions inside,
of which i cannot describe.
its been months now,
but time doesnt heal,
nothing can except
maybe just not feel.
Turning into stone,
After u melted me.
dont want to change,
but inevitable is this pain.
you clouded my mind,
thought it was the other way.
drained me of my energy,
filled my life with sorrow,
i guess that's all u ever gave me.
Left in this hell all alone,
Memories flood these corridors,
i pray they fade.
my purpose is blurred,
i need to get out, break out of this hell.
i lost you,
but i think u lost yourself,
and in losing you, i lost me.
now i'm saying my last farewell,
to this pain, these wretched memories,
my love, my hate,
your lies, your games,
i just dont care,
so *&%# it all,
and goodbye my dear...