Life Paths Poem by Angela Dodge

sometimes i get quiet
because i can't relate
to things being talked about
at the table.

i don't want pity,
and i hate to feel slighted
but my path took me different places
than yours
even though we have found ourselves
at these tables
again.

i didn't go to college after high school
i had my first child at 19
and my second at 25
and worked and went to school
and struggled with poverty

bad marriages
abuse
bad choices
depression
low self-esteem and feeling trapped
without choices

learning how to make TP with a shoe,
a newspaper
and a dryer...
and washing clothes in a bathtub
and eating endless pancakes
and spaghetti
and ramen

living with no tv until
9/11 drove me to buy antennae
and having no health insurance
but grateful for my $10 an hr job
because so many have none
we just don't get sick

going to food pantries and health clinics
salvation army christmases
pretending not to be poor for my children
though they knew

i sometimes just get quiet
because i don't want to say

'but look at what you DO have...
you have a job
actually, a CAREER...
a place to live
a nice car with less than 280k on it
a way to see a doctor-or many, if specialists
and second opinions
are needed

and so very much more than many others...
and a degree-or many...and opportunities
to make changes
to make differences
to make your world
and our world
to make them better places...'

instead, i sit quietly and nod
and smile
because i can't relate
and i don't want to offend
and would never overstep my boundaries

and because
i still love you all.